oh how nice it was to put school on hold for a week..it was so wonderful going on a mini trip, hanging out with friends, visiting other friends, relaxing with family, skating, skiing, going to the chocolate factory, watching movies and altogether, juss spending free time with those i love.. needless to say, the break was too short..it went by so incredibly fast..and surely enough, i prolly should have done some work over the break to ease my current state of stressfulness, but then my break wouldn't've been so amazing.. so i'm glad i took the time to thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it..
so i have been acting a bit like a weirdo lately and probably driving people crazy with my nuttyness..for this i apologize, it was for reasons i didn't really know at the time.. like i noticed something was different but i juss couldn't figure it out..but it only took one look at me for someone else to figure it out and juss tell me.. and so i may have completely lost my mind, and hence my sanity but my clarity is coming back to me, and hence i'm back to being in a peaceful state of mind with serenity on my side it's so nice to understand the reasons we do things cuz this is oh so rare =)
i am having a terribly difficult time balancing my life..with school taking up the vast majority of my time, i feel like i am sacrificing the things that matter to me most it's disconcerting because i am so thankful and grateful for everything i have but it's so hard to show appreciation..it's the worst feeling in the world; you feel as guilty as hell but there is nothing you could possibly do to make it better it's times like these when i really wish i was done school and really juss living life..that happy life where i can spend time with the people i love and juss be happy i juss feel like it shouldn't be this hard..but then again, when i said this to a friend, much wiser and insightful than i, he said 'pssh, good things take hard work..that's what makes them so good.' so maybe struggling is a good thing..and maybe things will get better if we get through this..i wonder if i'm still talking about the same thing now..sigh
i question my sanity sometimes..more so than usual.. well, it's more that i catch myself doing something and ask myself what the heck i'm doing..or that i'm reflecting and wondering what i juss did that for then i dream up some way to justify it..and that works for me so i guess if i really am insane, i'm probably not the one who should be calling the shots =)
