and so it begins..

i like change..so much that at one point in time, i practically trained myself to live in mini 4 month increments..it worked for me..moving around to different places, being around different people, experiencing different things..

i even excelled and thrived after a dramatic change like moving to a new city and switching program..the end of that change juss marked a stronger and smarter me..haha..

that was exactly one year ago..

and now..i've come to realize that the change i've experienced and become accustomed to is sudden change..but for the first time since i can remember, this year i've experienced a gradual change..a grown-up change, if you will..

this is when change has been rather difficult for me..yet i've somehow dealt with it and survived and turned it into one of the best times of my life..

but now when life throws me back into the sudden change, i'm a little thrown off my game..it's ionic, but i've actually gotten used to something and don't like that it's changed..i think it's a control thing..i like being in control and it's like i'm not anymore..

so what shall i do with myself? i guess juss let it be and deal with it as it comes..perhaps taking it one day at a time is the best way because when i think too far ahead, i get scared..this usually leads to some sort of sadness..and well, sadness doesn't suit me..i like to be happy

=)