my internal conflict

sometimes i wake up and i feel like someone has decided that today i must be an adult..

it's a strange feeling to wake up to because i feel like i hafta be ultra responsible, ultra decisive for myself and ultra independent..

not that i normally don't like these things but being told to do something is always different than wanting to do it yourself..

other days i wake up feeling like myself..i feel free to do as i wish..this feeling doesn't come as much as it used to..

but see, it's a bit of a dilemma cuz sometimes i like being an adult..or at least i envision it as pretty cool =)

Halfway

So it is officially halfway through the summer..i'm relieved to say it's gone by fairly fast..it feels like it's been a busy summer so far..

work hasn't been the greatest..its kinda boring and i have a brain i can't use..i am also the only young person so there's not many ppl to talk to..the job itself is also pretty tedious and boring..i'll be glad when it's over..

i'm dreading going back to school though..not looking forward to 3rd year nor the copious amounts of work and studying that will hafta be done..

lots of good things to look forward to for this second half of summer..i can't wait til the blissful time when work ends and school hasn't started yet..it'll be nice

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lyrics from a song that sums up my feelings today..i'm happy =)

Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it's so great!
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn't change a thing about it

This is the best feeling
This innocence is brilliance, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn't change a thing about it