silent freakout

maybe i've been studying too long but i am currently having a little panic attack about virtually nothing..it's turning me into a bit of a nutcase

i'm trying to do a couple things at once..

a) i hafta pack all my things cuz my subletter is moving in tomorrow..it should be simple b/c i don't have that much stuff..yet it's stressful..i was packing up the kitchener and dropped spaghetti sauce everywhere..then my vanilla bottle exploded..both quite disgusting to clean up..my pile of laundry that can't be done til later is starting to bother me and i'm running out of space to put the things i've already packed

b) studying..prolly the most important thing i have to do but i can't focus..the material is pretty easy, i juss need to take the time to sit and learn it but for some reason, my brain has gone on holidays..this is not good because i still need it for 7 more days

c) move..this isn't really til tomorrow, but it's annoying me already..i'm gonna be living out of a backpack for a week..it's difficult cuz i hafta pack everything i need to bring with me and make sure i don't accidentally pack something with the other stuff

i am so overwhelmed (about pretty much nothing) that i can't breathe properly..so now i am sitting on my bedroom floor surrounded by cardboard boxes because my brain has decided to not let me use it..ahhhhhh..today is also supposed to be something special but i can't think about that because i have a bazillion other things on my mind but in the back of my head, i wish i could..it would be nice

ahhhhhhhhhh

sad sad very sad

i broke my favourite key chain today..

i was in the elevator coming back from dinner and grocery shopping so i was carrying leftovers and a couple bags of groceries..i reached in my pocket to pull out my keys..then they slipped out of my hands and..my favourite key chain got smashed..

you have no idea how sad and upset i am..

i've had this key chain since i was four or so..i can remember the day i got it..it even says my name in sparkly purple and pink letters..it's so pretty

this is so very very very sad

oh the weather outside..

it's so absolutely beautiful..the sun is bright and warm, the skies are clear and the wind is a mere gentle breeze..i can even hear birds chirping

oh how i'd rather be out there than inside studying all day long

=)

No matter how good it is..

..there is and always will be something bad

i love it when things are happy..life is good and i am content

however, there is something that is becoming a grievance of mine and i feel like there is nothing more i can do to make it right..it also discerns me because it's like i've accepted that this is how it's gonna be..and hence, i've sort of given up..which is absolutely terrible

but how many times can you try and attempt before you say that's enough? there are only so many things you can do before you run out of ideas and options

on the other hand, i'm asking myself why i'm complaining..and quite frankly, i don't know..i guess it's my need to constantly strive for better..cuz why settle for less when you can have the best? =)

..thoughts..

there are very few people in this world who i can talk to for hours and hours and not get bored..it's when you're with these people that you don't know where the time went..and still after hours and hours or even days, you're not sick of them because it's still not enough..

these people are forever special and i cherish them dearly..without my 'bestests' and those this close to me, i'd be lost

=)