- ! ~ this is me ~ ! --> Crazy/Beautiful

House Shopping

2012-01-29T15:52:00.003-05:00

It has taken 2 months, countless hours of house shopping, seeing every single townhouse for sale in a 5km radius to figure out what we want.

This is description of our ideal home:

-a townhouse, <10 years old

->1000 sqft, ~1300-1500 preferred

-walking distance to yonge and sheppard

-minimum 2 bedrooms, 3 preferred

-low maintenance fees

-underground parking, minimum 1 spot, 2 preferred

-something affordable

Now how much longer til we find this house?

If only we knew what we wanted back then, we would likely be home owners by now. Unfortunately, we were naive and hesitant and now have become desperate to find a home.

sometimes life is unfair..very unfair

2011-07-27T19:48:00.003-04:00

i blog about this topic too much - it either means that i complain too much or that i have very unfortunate things happen to me.

it's likely both.

let's talk work - i actually like my job - it's interesting, it's as "fun" as work can be and most importantly, it's rewarding. so why is work bugging me?

because as i have been told over and over again, everything is done for political reasons - more specifically, i have learned that people who are higher up on the pole get the better view and whether that is fair or not, well, that's beyond the point.

so for that reason, i am going to smile, accept what i've been handed and quietly walk away from situations that bother me because there are battles worth fighting and then, there are battles that are not.

the future..

2011-05-23T21:23:00.003-04:00

if the things people do in the present is an indicator of what the future will be like, i don't know if i wanna keep going in the same direction...

how do you know when enough is enough or how much something is worth fighting for?

sigh.

time to be a grown-up?

2011-04-02T04:02:00.003-04:00

"it's the end of an era" says my roommate =)

As figurative as that is, it really is true. I haven't had much time to sit and take it all in because it's all happened so fast. We started with condo hunting to check out a few places. Then it was furniture shopping and deciding how we wanted to decorate. And then, I found myself buying a metropass because I would no longer be able to walk to work.

How did it all happen?

-Not really sure.

Oh well, that doesn't matter. What matters is now I own things. Expensive things like grown-ups do =)

(I realize that this blog makes no sense but it's about 4 in the morning and I can't sleep)

just need to breathe..

2011-03-02T18:31:00.003-05:00

so i'm no longer as frustrated with my day to day life..i've somehow adapted to working full time, being a student, being a TA and having a life outside of work/school.

now, it's little disturbances that seem to really be getting to me. it gets me pretty worked up and so irritated.

for example, house hunting. supposed to be fun. however, it turns out it is not as fun as it sounds. especially when you are looking for something you really like for a decent price in a market that is trying to make money. lots of money. 50 something places later, we are still nowhere.

then there's annoying roommates. the ones that don't do chores, use your stuff and are just plain messy. they make me want to find a new place to live. this means house hunting. see above for how i feel about that.

sigh

You know you are no longer a student when...

2011-02-22T18:27:00.012-05:00

...you forgot that it was reading week.

I TA a pharmacy class every other tuesday. When they gave me my schedule at the beginning of the term, it said "every other tuesday" so I didn't bother looking at the specific dates.

Today happens to be one of those "every other tuesdays." So, naturally, I went to campus with the intention of TA-ing.

As I walked to campus, I quietly noted to myself that it seemed rather quiet - apparently it wasn't enough to make my brain think faster.

As I entered the building, I wondered why no one was loitering around - still nothing clicked in my head.

As I proceeded to the elevator, my brain went "shit shit shit - fuck fuck fuck - omg omg omg - how did i forget it was reading week?"

AHHHHHHHHHHH - so not only did I not have to TA this week, I did not need to wake up at 6am, I did not have to get to work for 7am so that I could leave early to TA a class that was cancelled cuz of reading week and I did not have to waste 15 minutes walking in the frigid cold.

The worse part is that I DID know it was reading week - it just totally slipped my mind

of course happiness can't last forever..

2011-02-14T22:50:00.002-05:00

that may sound pessimistic but honestly, today has been a shitty day..it started out alright but ended up quite frustrating..

1) got yelled at by a doctor cuz i suggested a very appropriate drug but the doc did not want to admit she forgot about it so she decided to yell at the pharmacist who was just doing her job (aka me)

2) tried to make heart shaped peanut butter cookies after work..even used cookie cutters to get the shape perfectly..they looked beautiful as i put them in the oven..but as always, my cooking skills failed me once again and the damn cookies expanded and lost all their shape

3) bf came over and needed to park his car at my place so i went downstairs and politely asked the concierge for a visitor parking pass..the annoying concierge told me i had to wait cuz my guest hadn't arrived yet..fair enough..he they proceeded to tell me i couldn't stand in the waiting area because i was blocking his view and i couldn't stand inside because i was blocking the door sensor so he told me to go wait outside in the frigid cold

4) got in an argument with my dad about double and triple checking things before i proceed..will not get into this cuz it's still making me angry

5) came out of the shower and my toe started to hurt..i looked down and half my toenail was hanging off my big toe..mind you, this didn't surprise me all that much cuz i've had a bruised tow for months now..but it was quite disturbing to look down and see half your nail dangling from the attached half

sighh

Happy? Me? - possibly =)

2011-02-01T21:25:00.004-05:00

So it occurred to me that I don't tend to blog when i'm happy. It's ironic cuz i am probably happy 85% of the time and only 15% annoyed or unhappy. But it's probably cuz for the past 5 years I've used my blog as a place to rant about things/people/situations that bother me. Cuz after all, it's supposed to be my "safe outlet" right?

Well, anyways, i've been incredibly busy lately but along with that busyness came a high degree of satisfaction. It's quite a pleasant feeling after you've accomplished what you set out to do. My to-do list is still quite long but some of the items on the list are rather exciting so it keeps me going =)

But just to prove that I am happy most of the time, these are 5 things that made me incredibly delighted this week: (not in any particular order)

1. I am at a conference all week and don't hafta go into work!!

2. I have managed to politically correct several people who say "chinese new year" when it is actually "lunar new year"

3. I was able to cut my hamsters nails

4. I went to a get together with some old friends and had a terrific time catching up and just hanging out =)

5. I had steak and salmon and smoked salmon all in meal for dinner!! YUM!!

me and leftovers

2010-12-14T19:25:00.006-05:00

whenever i go to restaurants and order a big meal, i usually know i can't finish it..but, i order it anyways so that i can have leftovers the next day..i love having leftovers

however...it seems that whenever i get my leftovers packed up for me, i ALWAYS ALWAYS forget it at the restaurant

it has actually become a rare occurrence for me to remember to take my leftovers with me

then when i get home and realize that i forgot my leftovers at the restaurant, i am overwhelmed with sadness

it's so frustrating

gahhh

2010-11-11T20:20:00.002-05:00

my mum calls me a people-hater..it's cuz i complain about people too much..i don't entirely agree with her but i will admit i greatly dislike people..however, it's not that i hate ALL people..it's more i hate STUPID or INCOMPETENT people

which now brings me to my "gahhh" state of mind..people are so retarded sometimes..and yes, i am aware i am using a politically incorrect term but i don't get it..i seriously do not understand how people function the way they do somtimes

here are 3 examples:

1) my roommate: she is not a child, she is working on a post-grad degree and she has not lived at home for 4 years..one would assume she would have developed some common sense by this age. but no..i came home from work at 6pm one day and noticed that the plant in our kitchen had fallen over and there was soil and water everywhere..i then ask her if she noticed it had fallen..she looks at me and says "yes, it fell at 12 noon when you were at work"..i paused for a second and then followed up with "it fell and you just left it there"..to which she responded with "i didn't know what to do" WTF!?!

2) beggars: firstly, let's make a clear distinction btw beggars and homeless people..homeless people are people who do not have a fixed address. beggars are the people who stand outside with a sign that says something about children they supposedly have and have an empty timmy's cup and ask you for money..these people "appear" on the streets at 9am and are gone by 5pm..these people sit on their asses and expect people to drop money into their cups..i am a big advocate when it comes to helping people..i am all for volunteering at the shelter, helping people get back on their feet and donating to charity but i cannot stand it when i see beggars sit or stand at a corner as if it's their job and then take their earnings at the end of the day and spend it on booze and cigarettes..maybe i am being too jaded but this is how i see it..it makes me sad

3) my roommate again: ok, it's not that i have run out of examples, it's that it is too good an example of why i hate people..one day the water was turned off in our condo for repairs..one would assume that if the water is not on, the toilet doesn't work..so to be sure she is aware, i tell her not to use the toilet..guess what happens when i get home? the toilet is nearly overflowing because my roommate used the toilet as a porta potty all day because she was too lazy to go downstairs and use the washroom at the timmy's or starbucks that are literally feet away from our condo...OMG!?!

and this is why i am a called a people-hater..PEOPLE DRIVE ME NUTS and sometimes i sit and seriously wonder how the world functions with such people in existence

Vacation!!

2010-06-28T14:28:00.005-04:00

my 3 weeks in europe in a nutshell:

-flew from toronto to vienna with a connecting flight in amsterdam: 9 hours total - given the 10pm take-off time and 6 hour time difference, i was quite rested and had no trouble adjusting

-Vienna, Austria: 5 days of royal palaces, gorgeous views from mountain peaks, underground rivers, parks, beaches and beautiful architecture..also one of the cleanest cities i've ever been too..the best part was seeing my cousins and aunts/uncles though =)

-Munich, Germany: 3 hour walking tour + 2 hour walk to and from the english gardens to our hotel made my feet hurt but i loved the river surfers, disney castle, WWII history and beer stories..favourite food to eat in munich: giant pretzels and ham buns!

-Heidelberg, Germany: beautiful little town that overlooks pretty river..yummy chocolate..also had a ruined castle with a random pharmacy museum = very cool..honour system buses too =)

-Koln, Germany: several beautiful churches, birkenstock central, lovely river and outdoor shopping centre..also loved the random street performers including a guy with a grand piano..lindt chocolate factory with the best white chocolate ice cream ever..speaking of ice cream, ever heard of spaghetti ice cream?

-Belgium: stayed in Antwerp, visited the capital Brussels and visited medieval town Brugges..had amazing belgium waffles with strawberries and whipped cream and authentic hot chocolate everyday and belgium's specialty double-fried french fries..also, loved the tintin store, cobblestone roads, haagen dazs restaurant!

-Amsterdam, Holland: last stop..lived on a boat for 2 days: it was squishy but breakfast was yummy..toured the red light district and visited the historical anne frank house..tons of bridges over canals and almost got run down by bikes and vespas

overall: a wonderful trip with a wonderful friend =)

Diagnosis: chronically dis-satisfied

2010-05-21T17:48:00.009-04:00

i mean, how else can i explain it?

i have a great life..i really think i do

-i have amazing, wonderful, thoughtful friends and an incredibly loving and supportive family
-i am finally done school with a great education and the job i've always aspired to start my career with
-i live in a cozy condo in the perfect spot of the city i love
-i allow myself a limitless supply of chocolate to keep me content
-i've had a pet who i loved so much more than i ever thought i could
-i have awesome clothes that look great on me
-i have lovely hair that i can do anything with
-i baked something today and it actually turned out ok
-i have learned to deal with the fact that sometimes it juss has to rain instead of being all sunny and beautiful
-i'm in love and that someone loves me too

i friggin have everything i want and need..

..and yet..i am not 100% where i want to be..

So it's been a year..

2010-05-20T14:22:00.000-04:00

in some ways, i can't believe it's been over a year since i've posted..but at the same time, so much has happened that i wonder how it can only be a year...

anyways, i'm writing because i am having one of those days..actually it's more that i'm having more than one of those days..i feel off..it's a weird feeling but basically, things aren't going quite the way i want them to..it's frustrating me a bit..

i always say what goes around comes around and i truly do believe that if bad things happen, good things will be around the corner..because that is how it should be..right?

well i dunno, but i could sure use some happier things..

simplicity..

2009-05-11T02:21:00.000-04:00

remember when we were little and life was simple..

..when things didn't matter to us or we juss simply didn't care about them

..when things didn't affect us the way they do now

..when we didn't really feel anything

..when we would get over things in a second instead of dwelling on them hours later or burying feelings inside

i miss that..i miss simplicity..

silly me..

2009-05-08T01:13:00.002-04:00

today i put on my glasses and my vision got super blurry..when i took them off, everything was fine..so i tried again and it was still blurry when i put them back on..i was so confused..

i then started freaking out cuz i couldn't figure out why i was seeing blurryness when i put my glasses on..

i decided to give it a break and hop in the shower..as i was showering, i was so confused why i could see so clearly..

i then realized i had my contacts in the whole time!!!

i then decided to brand myself **doofus** for the day =)

oops..

2009-04-24T20:30:00.002-04:00

today the bf and i were hungry, yet feeling lazy so we decided to go buy one of those pizzas that you juss pop in the oven..

we brought the pizza home and he asked if we could put the cardboard in the oven..i was like 'no, of course you can't, it'll burn'

so we found an oven tray and put the pizza in the oven for 10 mins as directed..

we then took it out (with the tray) and set it on the cardboard that it came with..it didn't look ready so he told me to put it back in the oven..so i did..

5 mins later we start to smell burning..

upon opening the oven, i realized i accidentally put the cardboard in the oven along with the pizza..

oops!

at least the pizza was still good =)

A thought..

2009-03-21T19:33:00.004-04:00

is it bad to want everything? is it bad to want the best? is it bad to want more than what you have?

Lately, i feel as if i'm asking for too much..almost to the point where i've been called selfish b/c i already have something but i want more

i've always had this issue where i strive for the best and never settle for less..i really don't know where it came from but since i was little, i've always wanted the best..and then i've worked hard to get myself there

it becomes a problem when you start to question if everything you have is not the best..luckily, i ran into this problem last year and somehow got over it..

i learnt that if you are always looking for better, you take for granted what you already have..

so maybe i should take a step back and stop looking for more..stop wanting everything..stop wanting better

Free for a while..

2009-03-18T09:36:00.004-04:00

Last week I finished up the last of my midterms..also had my last seminar for the year..then completed my last lab for the year yesterday..so now i am free for about 2 weeks before finals start!

it doesn't seem like a lot but it is when you spend 7 months constantly slaving away at school..hehe

i tried to sleep in today..but guess what? i ended up waking up at 7 and not falling back asleep..by 8am i was wide awake..so i decided to juss get out of bed..didn't know what to do with myself so i went to the fridge, took out some ice cream and sat in front of the tv eating ice cream for breakfast

it was great!

i think i'm going crazy

2009-02-10T19:12:00.007-05:00

these have been my thoughts within the past 5 minutes

-i want sushi..i haven't had any in a long time

-i have too many shoes..i love every single pair though

-i keep seeing floating dots and squiggles in my vision

-i feel like a turtle..kinda moving very slowly

-i really like the egg yolk from over easy eggs

-i need a summer job..in toronto preferably

-the size my stuffed sperm cell is unproportional to my egg cell

-i eat too much sugar..i am going to get diabetes

-i hate judgmental ppl..ironic cuz i'm very opinionated

Simply happy!

2009-01-30T21:59:00.002-05:00

I have a few favourite phases..one of them is "simply happy"

I love it when i feel simply happy =)

little things

2009-01-20T23:36:00.003-05:00

i'm the type of person who gets excited about little things..they give me something to look forward to..especially when i'm busy

but right now, i am super super busy and there are little things to be excited about, but i'm not excited about them

i don't know why =(

A rather upsetting situation..

2009-01-13T19:41:00.003-05:00

i have a story..it's not about me..but it affects me in many ways..so here goes:

in pharmacy school, there are residency positions in various hospitals for graduating pharmacists (similar to medical residencies for graduating doctors)..there are very limited spots for a residency position..25 in all of ontario to be exact..for 2 pharmacy schools with ~200 graduating students each year..so the odds? not that great

to apply for a position is similar to applying for any other job..cover letter + resume + interview etc..you can apply to as many of the hospitals as you'd like and they conduct their own interview..

so my friend who is graduating this year applied to ~20/25 positions..he got an interview for all the hospitals..this is pretty amazing..yet not surprising because he is what you would call 'the very well rounded' student..he is the class president with good grades, he plays sports, he has lots of extra curriculars and he is well liked..

so after you have your interviews, it is a little different than a regular job application process..what happens is each of the 25 hospitals ranks their top 3 picks and you as the job seeker rank your 3 picks..then the system matches #1s with #1s and #2s wtih #2 etc..

already there is a flaw in the system..

anyways, the results of the 25 residency positions was announced and my 'over qualified' friend did not get a position

how did that happen?

2 reasons:

part 1) how he screwed himself over
-my friend only got to pick his top 3 choices..so as anyone else, he picked the 3 places he would most like to work for..
the problem: those weren't necessarily the 3 interviews that went the best

part 2) how the system screwed him over
-more than majority of his interviews could have picked him as their #1 or #2..
the problem: the system would have scanned his #1 and if it didn't match his #1, then all those places would be removed from his list of potential positions..meaning he has no chance with the majority of the places anymore

it kinda sucks because this system is incredibly flawed..if he had chosen a place as his #2 and they chose him as their #1, there is no chance of a match..in reality, this would not be the case..what would actually happen is that they would offer him the position, he (realizing he didn't get his #1) would take the #2 job..both parties would be very satisfied

but in the case of this silly little matching system, a majority of the positions would be filled with #2 and #3 people..

it really is upsetting..it sucks to be screwed over like that and it juss isn't fair sometimes..but such is life

The End of a Very Happy Break

2009-01-05T21:46:00.002-05:00

christmas break was way too short this year..it felt like exams were done, then it was christmas, then it was new years and then it was back to school..everything went by soooo fast

however, even though it was short, it was pretty sweet..got to go skating, shopping..did some baking..spent time with friends and family..ate a lot of food..had chocolate fondue..and juss relaxed =)

christmas was good too..being home was super nice..hanging out with my sisters and cousins was fun..turkey was yummy..presents were perfect and the added bonus to all this..i got tons of chocolate! =)

new years was lots of fun..had fun with old friends and my special someome =)

overall, the break was quite enjoyable..i juss wish it was a week longer =)

Life's a blur..

2008-12-22T22:24:00.003-05:00

it's hard to keep track of the days..mostly cuz they are repetitive but also cuz time flies

things come and go and that's it

or things happen and you enjoy the moment but then resume life

it's juss a big blur

the key to my happiness..

2008-12-08T23:49:00.002-05:00

-being with people who make me smile =)
-talking things out
-no stress! <-- unfortunately this is not possible
-yummy comfort food

...i'm sure the list is incomplete but i have to study and sleep right now =)

when you don't know what you want..

2008-12-04T23:05:00.004-05:00

life is really hard when you don't know what you want..

it's not that i don't have expectations..i do..i have high expectations..but at times i make exceptions and allow my high expectations to slip away..

this makes me re-evaluate them..

then i don't know what i want anymore

i think my blogs are starting to make me sound a little bipolar..hehe

new friends

2008-12-02T00:08:00.001-05:00

so the other day, i was having a chat with a friend..a sort of recently made friend..it's kinda nice to make new friends once in a while..they give you a different perspective on things you already know about yourself

new friends also know you for who are you now..not who you used to be and not how you came to be who you are..this makes them a little less judgmental i suppose

anyways, i like my new friend cuz she takes me away from the world i feel a little stuck in..she represents the present time and a little bit of who i want to be

new friends also ask questions..this makes you think and reflect on how you got to be where you are..then it makes you question if this is where you want to be

that is a hard question

I am..

2008-11-28T22:14:00.001-05:00

simply happy...that's it =)

Hair...

2008-11-24T22:42:00.002-05:00

So I love my hair..before saturday morning i had lovely long layered black hair down to my waist..then i decided to cut 13 inches and donate it to cancer...

it's extremely light weight, takes me two minutes to brush and 'funner'..hehe

today, i went to school with my short hair..lots of mixed reactions..what i gathered though is girls liked the change..having fun with hair is one of its many purposes..

but the boys preferred the long layered flowy hair..what is that so?

=)

my nails..

2008-11-21T00:12:00.002-05:00

it's been a very long time since i've blogged twice in one day haha..

but i currently typing with one hand as i am waiting for my nails to dry

i am also deciding how i should do the other hand..i initially painted both hands black..then i decided to spice it up by adding a pink stripe to match my pink dress i'm wearing to a semi formal tomorrow nite..so i painted my left hand with pink stripes going from bottom left to top right

now i hafta decide if i should continue the bottom left to top right on the right hand or should i go for the symmetrical look and paint from bottom right to top left

it's quite the decision and i should make it soon because it is extremely hard to type with one hand

=)

think before you do because..

2008-11-20T21:49:00.002-05:00

it's very hard to get back things you gave away..

..sometimes you have to earn them back

..sometimes you hafta try treally hard

..sometimes you just can't get them back

then again..sometimes you don't want them back

**making up your mind is hard to do sometimes**

I'm tired...

2008-11-16T22:18:00.003-05:00

...and i would like to be anywhere but in school at the moment

goals in life

2008-11-08T19:17:00.003-05:00

i have a few goals in life..probably more than juss a few, but only a select few really motivate me..these goals make me who i am

at times, i can envision the future and i can picture myself accomplishing these goals..

reason being: i know who i am, i know who i want to be and theoretically, i know how to get there

but at other times, i can't envision it

reason being: at the present time, i fear i'm losing who i am..losing my ambition, my confidence, my passion and more

now i'm wondering how much you can actually compromise and sacrifice before you lose your self identity?

or the more important question is, am i juss taking a different path to reach my goals or am i straying far away from the path, eventually losing sight of my hopes and dreams?

today...

2008-10-30T20:16:00.000-04:00

..was a good day =)

sigh..

2008-10-28T19:15:00.002-04:00

i can't decide if i'd rather be neutral and content all the time or have happy moments followed by sad moments..

i say this as if i have a say in what happens or how life goes..haha

sometimes when you're super happy, you feel great and everything is good..but then when sometime bad comes up, it juss really really really sucks..

this suckyness has been exacerbated by the fact that it's been so great..

i dunno..i don't like the high and low pattern..but then again, i don't think i'd enjoy the straight line pattern either

sigh.

grrrrr

2008-09-30T23:17:00.003-04:00

being mad at your own stupidity is one of the worst feelings ever

tonite i was printing out notes for class and instead of print multiple slides on a page i accidentally printed one slide per page

this means 42 slides = 42 pages!!!

what a stupid waste of paper and ink!!!

grrrrr!!!

satisfaction is lovely

2008-09-27T01:05:00.002-04:00

it's good when things out the way you want..

it's the way they should work out..

it's such a satisfying feeling..

=)

A thought..

2008-09-15T12:09:00.002-04:00

I was talking to a friend the other day and we got into a discussion about what we do when we have general life problems or juss feel not the happiest..we determined that we rely on comfort..it's things like talking to a specific person, eating chocolate, watching tv, talking a walk or something that juss lets you relax and makes you happy again..

then she said, "but what if you were so happy that you don't need things like that?"

I've never actually thought about this before..but now that I have, I don't think it's possible..you can't be so happy that you don't need your comfort things or someone to talk to..because if that were the case, then life would be perfect..and that alone is not possible..right?

=)

patience..

2008-09-13T20:43:00.004-04:00

so i've always been a supporter of the phrase 'the things you want will come to you when you are ready to handle them'..

the hard thing about this is that sometimes you can't do anything to prepare yourself and the only thing left to do is wait..

waiting = patience..

patience = a virtue that few of us really have

but you know what? if you try it, it really works..it might takes days or years or a whole lifetime of patience, but if you truly want it, it'll come

because afterall, things hafta work out and be okay..they really do have to =)

random strangers on the subway

2008-09-07T21:38:00.005-04:00

It's about 9pm and i get on the subway and take a seat in a nearly empty car. Then, this strange man comes in and stands right in front of me. He's not too old, about mid 30s i'd say. He's holding a plate of what looks like a variety of cheeses.

He holds out the plate to me and says, "would you like some cheese?" I politely decline, hoping he'll take the hint and leave me alone.

To my dismay, he continues to stand RIGHT in front of me. At this point in time I avoid eye contact and start looking around. He then asks again, "are you sure you don't want any chesse?" Again, I politely say, "no thanks." Then he goes, "is there anything else I can get you?"

Now i'm getting slightly annoyed this silly man won't leave me alone. The train starts to move and this man is still standing RIGHT in front of me when the whole car is practically empty. While he is still attempting to offer me cheese, he has also moved on to offering me a newspaper, a plastic bag and his hat.

Then, thank goodness, we get to the next stop and this girl, late 20s or so, comes over to us. She had been on the subway the whole time and witnessed this stupid man pestering me. She sits down beside me and pleasantly exclaims, "oh hey! How are you? How was your weekend?"

We then pretend we know each other and engage in a pretty plausible conversation. The man finally decides i am not interested and walks away. A feeling of relief flows through my head. The girl then says, "I see this guy all the time, he's probably harmless but kinda annoying." We laugh and talk about riding on the subway at night and meeting weirdos. It was odd cuz for all i know, she could've been some psycho too. But nevertheless, I was glad she was there.

We ended up getting off at the same station and parting ways with a, "have a good night."

it's that time of the year again..

2008-09-04T14:06:00.002-04:00

i'm really anxious for that september to come where i will not be going back to school..but the more times it does come right now, the faster the years seem to pass by

to sum up my summer i would have to say that it was good..some parts went by super fast and others were kinda slow

the end of my summer was probably my favourite part of the whole thing..had a fun birthday with old friends..finished up work..went away to the cottage and then on a cruise..all of which were so enjoyable

now i'm sitting in my room, back in toronto..i'm trying to anticipate what this year will be like and i really don't know..last year at this time, things were beginning to change and i've become someone almost completely different from then..wonder what it'll be like next year at this time of year..

Ohh baby..do you know what it's worth?

2008-08-11T18:36:00.003-04:00

Ohh heaven is a place on earth..they say in heaven, love comes first..we'll make heaven a place on earth -- lyrics by Belinda Carlisle that inspired me to write today

Sometimes life feels surreal and like i'm living in a fantasy world where everything is almost perfect..it's the days where work is good, family and friends are good, i have no real concerns, lots to look forward to and i can sleep soundly..

it's like a wonderful life where everything is right and i'm juss happy..it's like livin on a prayer..

"We've got to hold on to what we've got..cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not..we've got each other and thats a lot for love..well give it a shot..whooah..were half way there..whooah..livin on a prayer..take my hand and we'll make it..I swear..whooah..livin on a prayer" -- Bon Jovi

this life of mine..

2008-08-05T20:26:00.002-04:00

i'm currently reading this book about a girl who gets amnesia and can't remember anything from the past 3 years of her life..it's really touching cuz it really makes me think about my own life..

i am a lucky little soul i must say..i have been blessed with so many things and not to mention, so many wonderful people with whom i would be terribly unhappy without..

what would i do if i lost those precious memories i have? what if i couldn't remember my best friend or my sister or that special person that tells me he loves me everyday?

life would juss be so different if i lost a chunk of memory like that..not only would i have lost years of my life..but it's even worse because afterall, it's not the years in life that count..it's the life in those years that matter

my internal conflict

2008-07-08T20:20:00.002-04:00

sometimes i wake up and i feel like someone has decided that today i must be an adult..

it's a strange feeling to wake up to because i feel like i hafta be ultra responsible, ultra decisive for myself and ultra independent..

not that i normally don't like these things but being told to do something is always different than wanting to do it yourself..

other days i wake up feeling like myself..i feel free to do as i wish..this feeling doesn't come as much as it used to..

but see, it's a bit of a dilemma cuz sometimes i like being an adult..or at least i envision it as pretty cool =)

Halfway

2008-07-01T19:24:00.004-04:00

So it is officially halfway through the summer..i'm relieved to say it's gone by fairly fast..it feels like it's been a busy summer so far..

work hasn't been the greatest..its kinda boring and i have a brain i can't use..i am also the only young person so there's not many ppl to talk to..the job itself is also pretty tedious and boring..i'll be glad when it's over..

i'm dreading going back to school though..not looking forward to 3rd year nor the copious amounts of work and studying that will hafta be done..

lots of good things to look forward to for this second half of summer..i can't wait til the blissful time when work ends and school hasn't started yet..it'll be nice

---------------------------------------------------------------

lyrics from a song that sums up my feelings today..i'm happy =)

Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it's so great!
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn't change a thing about it

This is the best feeling
This innocence is brilliance, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn't change a thing about it

time to put colour back into my thoughts

2008-06-22T19:11:00.006-04:00

my life runs in cycles..like i keep saying, sometimes it's unbelievably good and sometimes it's not so great..

so what to do when it's not so good?

well, i try to think about all the good times..then i think about how this will soon pass

and when it's too hard to think of these things or i'm juss overwhelmed, i'm always reminded of something happy that can put a smile on my face..i rely on the little things that people do that can make me feel special

and as long as that is there, i think i can keep going =)

time is so precious..

2008-06-19T19:42:00.001-04:00

and we often take it for granted

bare with me..

2008-06-16T21:30:00.003-04:00

i realize the tone i've been setting has been a little dim..i dunno..sometimes i juss don't feel like myself..

i can't even put into decent words what i'm thinking..i've been trying for days now to form some sort of cognitive sentence..but no luck

i'm working on it..

a lesson for me

2008-06-14T20:00:00.000-04:00

i learn something new about myself everyday..sometimes it's good things, sometimes it's not..sometimes it's easy to accept and sometimes it seems almost mpossible..

once upon a time i was a strong, driven and incredibly motivated person..someone who faught and defended for EVERYTHING she believed in and seldom did i not get my way..it was this i prided myself in..my crazy determination and high expectations, not only in myself but those who i cross paths with..

and yet..in such a short and unexplainable amount of time, i have re-evaluated whole hearted about who i really am and i'm not sure how i feel about it..

i often let my head over power my heart and passion..this is is an eternal conflict i think i will forever have..it's a struggle because logic and reason has governed my every action up until now..to let go of all that and juss trust or hope was a crazy thought i had dismissed long ago..there is so much uncertainty in that..

now it seems i want to believe in it ever-so-much..and why?

...because somewhere on the path of becoming who i am, i have lost sight of what is supposed to matter..and now, i no longer wish to lose anymore..

i do not wish to and so i shall not pin-point exactly what is supposed to matter because, afterall, who am i to be the one to declare..it's a matter of decisions and as i sit here surrounded by my thoughts, i am even more confused as before

i think i've made a mess of something and i don't quite know how to fix it

nothing interesting

2008-06-11T22:20:00.002-04:00

i've been meaning to write but everytime i try to get started, nothing comes to mind..nothing interesting happening these days..my lack of something is killing me..yet, somedays i am happy and somedays i am sad..it's an interesting thing to go through but not worthy of a detailed recollection..

i dunno..i'm a little lost for words..or maybe juss a little lost in general

HaPpY

2008-05-27T17:52:00.000-04:00

i love being missed =)

the old slash the new

2008-05-19T20:31:00.004-04:00

it's hard to find words to say what you want to say sometimes..it's like when you're feeling so many emotions that you don't know whether to say you're happy or you're angry or you're confused..you are juss all of the above and that is the only way to describe it..

lately, i've felt a surge of overwhelming emotions..i'm living in a place that is old and familar to me yet everything seems different, sometimes in a little way, but often not..although it's the same setting, the things that were here then are no longer still here..

the upside is that i value the things that are the same more..i can take comfort in the fact that not everything is different..although that is certainly a nice feeling, i miss being in familar territory..

and along the same lines, i miss being back at school..i don't miss the school part of it at all, but i miss the city, the people and the life

and so it begins..

2008-05-11T23:15:00.001-04:00

i like change..so much that at one point in time, i practically trained myself to live in mini 4 month increments..it worked for me..moving around to different places, being around different people, experiencing different things..

i even excelled and thrived after a dramatic change like moving to a new city and switching program..the end of that change juss marked a stronger and smarter me..haha..

that was exactly one year ago..

and now..i've come to realize that the change i've experienced and become accustomed to is sudden change..but for the first time since i can remember, this year i've experienced a gradual change..a grown-up change, if you will..

this is when change has been rather difficult for me..yet i've somehow dealt with it and survived and turned it into one of the best times of my life..

but now when life throws me back into the sudden change, i'm a little thrown off my game..it's ionic, but i've actually gotten used to something and don't like that it's changed..i think it's a control thing..i like being in control and it's like i'm not anymore..

so what shall i do with myself? i guess juss let it be and deal with it as it comes..perhaps taking it one day at a time is the best way because when i think too far ahead, i get scared..this usually leads to some sort of sadness..and well, sadness doesn't suit me..i like to be happy

=)

finally done..

2008-05-08T11:54:00.002-04:00

and although it definitely feels good to be done..it's not as gratifying as i thought it might be..

i'm going to miss being/living in the city..

oh well, plenty to look forward to: new job, new scenery, nice warm weather..

=)

silent freakout

2008-04-30T16:57:00.004-04:00

maybe i've been studying too long but i am currently having a little panic attack about virtually nothing..it's turning me into a bit of a nutcase

i'm trying to do a couple things at once..

a) i hafta pack all my things cuz my subletter is moving in tomorrow..it should be simple b/c i don't have that much stuff..yet it's stressful..i was packing up the kitchener and dropped spaghetti sauce everywhere..then my vanilla bottle exploded..both quite disgusting to clean up..my pile of laundry that can't be done til later is starting to bother me and i'm running out of space to put the things i've already packed

b) studying..prolly the most important thing i have to do but i can't focus..the material is pretty easy, i juss need to take the time to sit and learn it but for some reason, my brain has gone on holidays..this is not good because i still need it for 7 more days

c) move..this isn't really til tomorrow, but it's annoying me already..i'm gonna be living out of a backpack for a week..it's difficult cuz i hafta pack everything i need to bring with me and make sure i don't accidentally pack something with the other stuff

i am so overwhelmed (about pretty much nothing) that i can't breathe properly..so now i am sitting on my bedroom floor surrounded by cardboard boxes because my brain has decided to not let me use it..ahhhhhh..today is also supposed to be something special but i can't think about that because i have a bazillion other things on my mind but in the back of my head, i wish i could..it would be nice

ahhhhhhhhhh

sad sad very sad

2008-04-21T10:37:00.001-04:00

i broke my favourite key chain today..

i was in the elevator coming back from dinner and grocery shopping so i was carrying leftovers and a couple bags of groceries..i reached in my pocket to pull out my keys..then they slipped out of my hands and..my favourite key chain got smashed..

you have no idea how sad and upset i am..

i've had this key chain since i was four or so..i can remember the day i got it..it even says my name in sparkly purple and pink letters..it's so pretty

this is so very very very sad

oh the weather outside..

2008-04-17T14:12:00.003-04:00

it's so absolutely beautiful..the sun is bright and warm, the skies are clear and the wind is a mere gentle breeze..i can even hear birds chirping

oh how i'd rather be out there than inside studying all day long

=)

No matter how good it is..

2008-04-09T01:18:00.000-04:00

..there is and always will be something bad

i love it when things are happy..life is good and i am content

however, there is something that is becoming a grievance of mine and i feel like there is nothing more i can do to make it right..it also discerns me because it's like i've accepted that this is how it's gonna be..and hence, i've sort of given up..which is absolutely terrible

but how many times can you try and attempt before you say that's enough? there are only so many things you can do before you run out of ideas and options

on the other hand, i'm asking myself why i'm complaining..and quite frankly, i don't know..i guess it's my need to constantly strive for better..cuz why settle for less when you can have the best? =)

..thoughts..

2008-04-04T02:49:00.001-04:00

there are very few people in this world who i can talk to for hours and hours and not get bored..it's when you're with these people that you don't know where the time went..and still after hours and hours or even days, you're not sick of them because it's still not enough..

these people are forever special and i cherish them dearly..without my 'bestests' and those this close to me, i'd be lost

=)

little surprises..

2008-03-31T08:16:00.003-04:00

i have never been one to like surprises..big or small..fun or boring..they have juss never been my thing..i was the type of person who always liked to be in control, plan things out and know what was gonna happen..

then somewhere along the line, someone showed me surprises are nice if you let them be..this person has also shown me so many things and introduced me to a world i thought i'd never be in..it's led me to believe in things i never dreamt possible..

so it juss goes to show you, things can change, you can change, life can change

=)

lifes little lessons

2008-03-27T00:24:00.003-04:00

many times in life we find ourselves in certain situations..upon coming out of these situations we often reflect..after reflecting, most of us sometimes make mental notes of what we learned..

the most common thing i think people learn is about what they want..in this, i mean, you learn about things you want to strive for..or even strive to be..

but more recently, i've come to realize that not only is it important to know what you want to be..it's also important to know what you DON'T want to be..

this lesson is much harder to learn than the first..

cuz after all, you see someone do something cool and you're like, 'oh i want to be juss like that'..but how many times can you say, 'oh i definitely don't want to be like that'?

i dunno..

sometimes i feel that we get so caught up in reaching for the top or trying to become someone else that we forget about the little things that actually make us who we are

i excel at being me

2008-03-18T22:56:00.002-04:00

sometimes it really doesn't matter to me what other ppl think..sure that's a sign of arrogance..but i like to think of it more along the lines of confidence..

confidence: defined as the state of being certain or the feeling of self assurance..

i can't comprehend not having confidence in myself or the things i do..without confidence, you lack so many things..you lack motivation, intelligence, poise and common sense..

maybe that's a reason why i can't stand pushovers and people pleasers

i also suppose this is why i come across as a bit stuck up sometimes..but really, all it's about is me being confident..and as a direct result..i excel at being me

=)

sometimes i wonder..

2008-03-14T01:29:00.000-04:00

people say that there's no right or wrong way to live..it's what you do and how you do it..

but what you do and how you do it are based on the decisions you make..and with most decisions, there ARE right and wrong ways..so if you are using this as a basis for living, it's so contradictory..

so i think to myself, am i living the right way? well, i'm happy with who i am, i'm thankful for what i have, i'm content with where i am and i'm pleased with what i'm doing..so sure, i'm living life quite finely

but then i can't help but think..how do i know i'm actually living to my utmost potential? like how happy is my happiness? sometimes i feel like i'm juss letting everyday pass by without properly reflecting because i've settled..as a result, the little things as well as the big things are juss sort of going by..but then again, settling is nice..it's comfortable..because someone once told me that you can't live life while you are searching for better..if you do, you will never be happy nor will you be able to appreciate what you have..

i bet none of this nonsense i'm writing actually makes any sense..but it's 1:30am and i am unable to sleep so i thought i'd ramble for a bit =)

happiness

2008-03-04T23:49:00.002-05:00

sometimes i wish happiness came in a little bottle or something..it would solve like everything..cuz when i'm happy, everything is good and life is juss that much better

but i guess that is asking too much..

so i shall resort to my happy list that consists of everything possible that makes me happy..almost as good as having a bottle of happiness

=)

some days are juss days like today

2008-03-01T01:43:00.002-05:00

some days i wake up happy, some days i wake up with my head in a jumbled mess

then the day progresses and various things can happen..it can either complicate or simply things..it can make things better or worse..it can make me forget or overanalyze things..it can make me pleased or angered..it can turn out a million ways..

so as a result, some days i go to sleep happy, some days i go to sleep with my head in a jumbled mess

but the good thing, even if today sucked, tomorrow could be totally awesome

and therefore, it's okay that today was a day like today

=)

my lovely lovely break from school

2008-02-25T09:52:00.000-05:00

oh how nice it was to put school on hold for a week..it was so wonderful going on a mini trip, hanging out with friends, visiting other friends, relaxing with family, skating, skiing, going to the chocolate factory, watching movies and altogether, juss spending free time with those i love..

needless to say, the break was too short..it went by so incredibly fast..and surely enough, i prolly should have done some work over the break to ease my current state of stressfulness, but then my break wouldn't've been so amazing..

so i'm glad i took the time to thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it..

figured it out..

2008-02-11T13:23:00.000-05:00

so i have been acting a bit like a weirdo lately and probably driving people crazy with my nuttyness..for this i apologize, it was for reasons i didn't really know at the time..

like i noticed something was different but i juss couldn't figure it out..but it only took one look at me for someone else to figure it out and juss tell me..

and so i may have completely lost my mind, and hence my sanity but my clarity is coming back to me, and hence i'm back to being in a peaceful state of mind with serenity on my side

it's so nice to understand the reasons we do things cuz this is oh so rare

=)

struggles..

2008-02-08T08:25:00.000-05:00

i am having a terribly difficult time balancing my life..with school taking up the vast majority of my time, i feel like i am sacrificing the things that matter to me most

it's disconcerting because i am so thankful and grateful for everything i have but it's so hard to show appreciation..it's the worst feeling in the world; you feel as guilty as hell but there is nothing you could possibly do to make it better

it's times like these when i really wish i was done school and really juss living life..that happy life where i can spend time with the people i love and juss be happy

i juss feel like it shouldn't be this hard..but then again, when i said this to a friend, much wiser and insightful than i, he said 'pssh, good things take hard work..that's what makes them so good.'

so maybe struggling is a good thing..and maybe things will get better if we get through this..i wonder if i'm still talking about the same thing now..sigh

My Sanity

2008-02-06T00:36:00.000-05:00

i question my sanity sometimes..more so than usual..

well, it's more that i catch myself doing something and ask myself what the heck i'm doing..or that i'm reflecting and wondering what i juss did that for

then i dream up some way to justify it..and that works for me

so i guess if i really am insane, i'm probably not the one who should be calling the shots

=)

Happy Place

2008-01-30T00:59:00.001-05:00

I am in such a happy place right now and i really really don't to leave or have this feeling go away

this isn't to say my life isn't crazy busy or unbelievably stressful because it is..i don't think school has ever been like this for me nor has life thrown me such surprises all at once

but the fact that i'm still happy must show that i am really happy..

juss happy =)

living life for the moments..

2008-01-18T23:37:00.000-05:00

i am a planner..a thinker..i like to be organized and have things laid out..i like to be prepared and i like to know what's going to happen..

it's ironic cuz when it comes to life, i often don't know what's going to happen..

the problem is that life is different..it really is impossible to predict..and so, i've come to realize that it's okay that life surprises me..it's okay not to know what lies ahead..it's okay..

and why? well, cuz life isn't always about the results or the destiny, it's about the journey and the experiences..the moments that unexpectedly make you cry and the moments that unexpectedly make you estatically happy..

and as an outcome of this thought process, i'm planning to juss live life for the moments..

=)

bipolar perhaps?

2008-01-14T22:02:00.000-05:00

is it possible to be absolutely miserable and incredibly happy at the same time?

yes..as long as it's two distinct and separate things that are causing the miserableness and happiness, i think it's possible

reasoning: i don't really have any actually..juss simply saying you can feel two very opposite things at the same

=)

acceptance vs understanding

2008-01-06T21:46:00.000-05:00

sometimes there are things that you juss aren't gonna be able to understand..things that ppl do that are juss incomprehendable to you..

it might be frustrating at times, but on the other hand, sometimes it's better if you juss accept it..

why dwell on it? especially if it's a conflict of opinions..looking beyond the current situation is important..

adversity can discover virtues..yet ignorance is bliss..

2007-12-18T09:58:00.001-05:00

i consider myself a very methological person whose thoughts are not always coherent but the level of intellect expressed is a clear indication of how logical and organized i present myself..

so somewhere along the line i've run into some rather adverse events that get in the way of my systematic thought process..and what do to about them? well, what can you do..live them out..
and so i did

putting my frustration and directed anger aside..i have discovered some virtues i never thought i'd possess..

t'was interesting

but the more i think of it, is it worth it to discover virtues upon the effects of adversity?

hmm..no..to me, ignorance is still bliss

life is always complicated..

2007-12-09T14:58:00.001-05:00

i had an urge to blog today..i haven't blogged in a long time so i question as to why this is so..i suppose my life has been pretty low-key lately..nothing extremely exciting..so hence the lack of need to express myself through random thoughts? hm...

do i only write when life is exciting?
-no i write when i feel the need to write

when do i feel the need to write?
-when things are bothering me, when i have something to say, when something interesting happens..ie when life is complicated

so then i thought that this means when i don't write, life is simiple

HAHAHA..'life is simple"..what a ridiculously statement..life is never simple..there are juss varying levels of complicatedness

It's supposed to be easy..

2007-09-18T00:44:00.000-04:00

and it is..

life is supposed to be easy when you are doing what you love or what you want to be doing..

someone once told me that sometimes what you're good at isn't what you want to do and that is so true..likewise, sometimes what you want to do isn't necessarily something you are good at..

but you know what?

it may be hard to do it initially but it gets easier..life gets easier..it's supposed to

My love..my life..this city

2007-09-05T11:36:00.000-04:00

oh how strange it is to be back in TO already..but how even more strange that everything has juss fallen into place as if i never left..i've been back for 5 days and it feels like even though nothing has changed, i have a totally new perspective on everything..

this summer has been absolutely incredibly unbelievable!!! what made it amazing? i don't even know..the people i was with, the life i was living, the places i went, the things i got to do..everything was awesome!! and i can't believe how fast 4 months can go by..it was definitely the one of the best summers of my life..

moving back was a bit saddening at first and i didn't want to do it, but now that i'm here, it feels rite..it feels like this is my life, where i'm supposed to be, and i love it

so goodbye to summer, i already miss it, but i'm ready to embrace what this year shall present..

**life's what you make it so why not juss live it?**

my domestic skills..or lack there of

2007-04-18T12:54:00.000-04:00

how i managed to burn a cake TWICE is beyond my understanding capabilities..

i bought a betty crocker vanilla pound cake mix..added 2 eggs, water and oil..stirred vigorously until the batter was moistened..then i greased the pan, put the batter in the pan and put it in the oven at 350F..

30mins later, i checked the cake (the box said it would take 35-38 mins)..but when i opened the oven, the top layer was burnt!! how???

i compensated for this problem by covering it with chocolate chips..i wanted the chips to melt so i stuck it back in the oven for 2 mins..then when i took it out, the chips were burnt..gahhhh

while my cake was baking..i decided to wash my winter scarves and mitts and hats..i put everything in the washer and dryer..then when i took them out..everything had pink and black fluff on it..

oh sigh..god really does not want me to be a domestic person

chocolate ice cream heaven!!

2007-04-16T19:11:00.000-04:00

i am in aboslute chocolate ice cream heaven!! i can't even begin to describe how amazingly scrumptious this ice cream is..it's soft, sweet, creamy, chocolately..absolutely fantastically delicious..

i've been craving chocolate ice cream for a couple days now and satisfied the craving by substituting hot chocolate for it..but now..right now..this absolutely wonderful feeling of chocolate ice cream in my mouth is mindblowing..

i almost wanna lick the bowl cuz it was soooooo yummy..

oh this is such a marvelous feeling!!!

summer is almost here!!

2007-04-12T18:15:00.000-04:00

i can feel it..it's so close to being the end..but it's gonna be busy busy busy..

-1 more day of classes..then it's a study weekend..
-then..monday and thursday exam next week
-then..monday exam the week after
-then..edmonton for a week!!!
-then..one more exam..

then..summer!!! yay!!

the world of facebook

2007-04-01T19:40:00.000-04:00

i finally decided to embrace the world of facebook and get a facebook account!!

juss kidding..i haven't figured out how to let go of my anti-facebook ways yet..happy april fools!!

'when i get facebook (notice the 'when' and not 'if'---b/c i've accepted that i will have it someday)..it'll be because............................'

---when i can finish this sentence, i will have a facebook account =)

microbiological relationships

2007-03-19T17:25:00.000-04:00

there are 3 types of relationships in the world of microbiology

1) mutualism:
-when both organsims benefit from the relationship

2) commensalism:
-when one organism benefits and the other is neither helped nor harmed

3) parasitism:
-when one organism benefits while the other suffers significant damage

the most common is #3..such is the same in the world we call life =P

juss let it be...

2007-03-14T21:15:00.000-04:00

we all have things we don't quite like about ourselves..you know, those little flaws that we wish we could change but we can't..

my current thing i wish i would change about myself is my ability to juss let things happen without over-analyzing or rationalizing it out

for example, when something good happens, i'm happy..but then i get worried..i get worried because when too many good things happen, it's like a yellow caution tape gets wrapped around my brain that says 'something bad is gonna come along soon'

it's like when something seems so easy and you think to yourself 'it can't be this easy, what's the catch?'

i can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head long enough to enjoy the moment..instead, i am stuck in the midst of thinking about what happens next..so i can't fully live in the moment..

i wish i could..i wish i could juss let things happen..let things unfold and juss deal with them as they come without anticipating what happens next..

when will it end??

2007-03-04T09:55:00.000-05:00

so much for coming back all relaxed..being thrown back into the midst of school, studying for exams and writing papers has made reading week seem like ages ago..

it feels like school is this never ending world that you never fully step out of..then again, as much as i want the school part of school to be over, i'm gonna terribly miss the student part..

oh well..i suppose summer is just around the corner and that shall provide a much needed break

Canada and the things we call Canadian

2007-02-28T23:49:00.000-05:00

i decided that i could never live outside of this country permanently

the reason being..i love tim hortons..i mean, if it weren't for tim hortons, where else are you gonna go and drink hot chocolate or apple cider or ice caps while sitting for hours talking to friends??

sure, tim hortons is now expanding down south but it's not the same..tim hortons is a canadian thing..

as is hockey..my other joy in life..playing, watching, marrying haha..i love it all and i especially love that it's canada's game

writing this is making me think about chocolate..i love chocolate..it's not really a canadian thing but i'm craving some right now so i'm gonna stop writing

EsCaPe

2007-02-25T13:59:00.000-05:00

the week went by so incredibly fast..i wish it could've lasted longer

seeing ppl was so much fun: meeting up with my UW girls was great, being at home with family was so relaxing, seeing my guelphies was good, CASH reunion was wonderful..

skiing was absolutely amazing, i love the thrill of being on the slopes and the weather was awesome..went to see 'because i said so'..definitely a chick flick but hilarious..

now it's back to life in TO..back to school tmr..beginning the oh-so-familar routine..

snow! snow! snow!

2007-02-14T00:03:00.000-05:00

it's snowing lots and lots..

which means the ski hills should be wonderful next week..

juss hope it's warmer than this!

my exciting roadtrip weekend!!!

2007-02-12T00:53:00.000-05:00

from Toronto -> Port Hope -> Kingston -> Ottawa -> Quebec

Toronto-packed up stuff and began roadtrip listening to a murder mystery on tape which made time passed by pretty quickly!

Port Hope-this was juss a mini road/gas/pee/timmys break!

Kingston-sarah visit, queens tour, dinner at lonestar!!

Ottawa-canal skating, winterlude ice sculptures, parliament hill, canadian war museum, beavertails and so much yummy food!!

Quebec-winterlude snow sculptures, giant ice slides, snow maze, canadian civilization museum, sketchy parking lot man!!

ahhh..good times

random thoughts at 11:59pm

2007-02-08T00:10:00.000-05:00

i juss came back hockey and have tons of energy..but unfortunately there are very few people who reciprocate this energy rite now

i love snow..but i hate the coldness that is associated with it!

tomorrow is thursday and i have no class! it's super

i wish i could nicely flutter my eyelashes

i want to marry a good looking pilot..they'd be rich, they'd be fun to look at, i could fly to places and they'd be gone half the time

i get to skate on the rideau canal in 2 days!

....i'm happy!

i miss you waterloo!!

2007-02-07T00:37:00.000-05:00

after a wonderful catch-up IM chat with one of my bestest..i realized how much i missed waterloo..especially rite now!

-gossiping (using nicknames we created for people of course)
-talking about classes (and the hot TAs)
-re-living the memories (falling asleep in class..)

it's almost as good as being there!

gosh i miss it!

it's february???

2007-02-01T09:51:00.000-05:00

how did that happen?? january was the quickest months ever

it wasn't busy but school was quite stressful at times..lots of stuff constantly but no real work had to be done (a bit of a paradox eh?)

i developed a few funny little obsessions..i'm addicted to looking up flight schedules..(not sure if i'm going somewhere yet), but i love finding cheap inexpensive ways to fly to places (westjet has been have awesome sales for anywhere in north america and air canada is offering $500 round trip to europe)

i ended off the month getting slashed in the finger and hit in chest really hard from hockey last nite..but it was still good..overall, january was a fun month..

now comes february..i also believe this shall be a fun month..

-only 28 days
-winterlude in ottawa!!
-a whole week off from school!!
-it's getting cold and snowy enough to go skiing!!
-for the first time ever, there is no crazy midterm week..midterms are relatively spread out..

it's great..

CASH in TO

2007-01-28T23:48:00.000-05:00

Christine+Amanda+Sarah+Heather

+

weekend

+

TO

=

fun fun fun CASH Weekend in TO

pics @ http://christine381.spaces.live.com/

Deal or No Deal

2007-01-25T00:08:00.000-05:00

so yesterday i went to the Canadian taping of Deal or No Deal!!! it was sooo awesome!!

skipping class, lunching it with the girls, hanging out was sooo much fun..

the taping was sooo cool too!! the set looked exactly the like american set with a canadian backdrop..the suitcase girls were beautified with gorgeous silver heels and red dresses..and howie..howie was juss so handsome in person!!!

the game itself is soooo intense when you're there..you actually feel anxious and scared for the contestant!! we were sitting in the second row rite behind howie..it was an amazing experience!!

i hope i'm on TV! it airs February 4th on Global..right after the superbowl!!

ups and downs make the world go round..

2007-01-18T14:23:00.000-05:00

that's my new motto..i love every single up and down wave that life forces us to take...

-------------------------------------------------------------
oreos

have you ever juss ate an oreo??? i'm not talking about taking the oreo out of the bag and gulfing it down..like i mean really done nothing BUT eat the oreo..

if you haven't, you should try..

reserve 5 minutes sometime..pour yourself a glass of milk..take out an oreo..sit down..clear your mind and think about nothing except the oreo and you..

then when you can't take it anymore..eat it (in whatever fashion your heart desires)

it's a heavenly feeling..juss you and the oreo

=)

give me something to dream about..

2007-01-14T01:20:00.000-05:00

..something to aspire to..

i've somehow managed to climb a gigantic mountain and make it to the top after many attempts and obstacles..now i'm stuck on this pedistol and i don't want to come down..

i've managed to accomplish something i've always wanted??? really??

i'm breathless as i'm looking back and reflecting on the journey..speechless as i close my eyes..i take it this wonderful feeling..

and as i re-open my eyes and turn around, i realize my mountain just grew twice the size and i am only part of the way there..

yes!! a new challenge..what an amazing feeling to have a dream..

welcome to 2007!

2007-01-07T13:08:00.000-05:00

a year ago..if you had told me i'd be going to U of T, living in an amazing condo in the middle of downtown toronto..i would have told you that you were crazy..

there is no way to sum up 2006..it was an absolutely wonderful year..i discovered so much about myself and took enormous steps in growing up..

2006 was also a year for learning..learning about my friends and what friendships mean..learning to be independent and stand on my own two feet..learning the important and unimportant parts of life..

more over..the past year has taught me that no matter what happens, life goes on..you may glide along while the good stuff happens and struggle through the bad stuff..but no matter what..life still continues

so before i say goodbye to 2006..want to thank everyone who has been there during this time with me and made this year so wonderful..hope 2007 is just as amazing!

do you ever feel like you're always waiting??

2006-12-16T11:20:00.000-05:00

always waiting for things to happen or time to pass..

the worst is when there's nothing you can do but wait..

at this moment in time i am currently waiting for this week to pass by..a week from today, i will be at home celebrating the joyous of the christmas holidays in my terribly missed city and my family who i haven't seen for months..

on the other hand..i don't know how it happens, but it does

life juss passes you by

like one second..you're here..and then the next second, you're there..

like right now, i may be desparately waiting for this week to be over..but in a week, i'm gonna wonder how it all passed by so quickly..

strange eh?

******************************************************
Waiting for my real life to begin-Colin Hay

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart and let the light shine in
But don't you understand, I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again

And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice, I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

the things we do..

2006-12-05T19:19:00.000-05:00

my question is why do we do bad things? whether it be something bad for us or bad for someone else..why do we do it?

we know that it goes against good and perhaps we even know that there will be consequences..and yet we still endulge in these bad things..

i do plenty of things i know are bad for me..my bad habits include but are not limited to my high consumption of chocolate as a cure to a stressful day, participation in social events when i should be doing elsewise, engagement in not so good activities..

and why do i do these things? for the short term euphoria i suppose..but in the long run, what does it leave me with? stress, anxiety, worry, regretfulness??..sometimes

but in the end, the question is whether it is worth it? well, if it wasn't, would we still be doing these bad things?

maybe..maybe we hope and wish and have faith that all the good things we do..whether it be good for ourselves or good for other people..will balance out the bad..maybe..juss maybe..

in 10 minutes...

2006-11-30T23:50:00.000-05:00

it will be december!!!

that means in 10 minutes i can take the first chocolate off my advant calender and eat it!!

thoughts

2006-11-26T03:56:00.000-05:00

you're beautiful..